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外贸老鸟帮新人点评、修改的3个开发信案例!

来源:benyxw    发布时间:2019-09-09 19:08:54

案例1: 
 
一个新手给我的开发信原件: 

Dear Sirs, 
Have a good day! 

This is  Sam from ABC factory producing Gloves. I am gald to know that you are a leading wholesaler of gloves. Hope to establish a good business relationship with you. 

点评:这个开头有点平淡。没能让客户立即感受到同你做生意有什么好处,或者建立客户同这封邮件的关联。 

Our factory is one of the biggest glove factories in China with already 10 years’ history. We can provide you good quality gloves with good price and service. We have a lot of advantages for all kinds of Glove styles, Ladies, Men’s, Kids. Attached are some pictures of our products and workshops for your reference. Please check and let me know what kind of gloves you are interested, or you can show your styles for our offering. 

点评:这个公司介绍部分是典型的以product feature来介绍的。也不能让客户产生关联感,以及给我什么好处。另外缺少支撑。人人都会说我是最大的最好的。也比较平。 

We would like to take this opportunity to establish business relationship with you.If you want to know more about us, you can add me on your Skype or E-mail or visit our website as below my E-Business card. Maybe it is a start of our business.   If you are interested in our goods, pls let me know . If you will attend the coming Canton Fair at April,2014 , pls don't hesitate to contact me at any time . we  will waiting for you there and show our more good samples for your reviewing. 

点评:有点不够简要,也未能给出充足的理由和动力让客户同你联系。 

Any questions, Pls let me know at any time. Looking forward to your earlier reply!Best regards, 

Sam 

修改后: 
Dear John, 

一定要找到合适的联系人,Dear sirs和Dear John的回复率有几倍的差异。你对着一群人喊一声“请去把门关一下。”看看有人回应你吗?如果你说“张三,请去把门关一下。”效果是完全不同的。Dear sirs,没有人觉得自己同这封邮件有何关联。Dear John,就是写给自己的。关联自然产生。 

Good morning! 
I just visited your web site, and know that you are the leading wholesaler in Poland  for  fashionable gloves, with prestigious reputation for  the quality.   

一开始就谈客户的情况,让客户建立起联系,这封邮件同他是相关的。 
You may be happy to find a new reilaible source of gloves  with superior quality & Reasonable prices. You can select  from an abundant variety of premium quality Jeans with stylish originaldesigns updated every 6 monthes. 
点出客户的利益。 

Our factory has a capacity of XXXX gloves monthly, probably the largest in China. Since 2009, we have passed ISO9001, and all our products has CE certificate. I attach the certificate images  in the next email,please find them. 

可信地给出自己的实力。 

Our satisfied customers include XXX, XXX & XXX. I am confident that when you work with us, you will have the same satisfaction like them. To enable you to get a good understanding of our quality and service, we would like to extend a very special offer for your first sample order, with 15% (only limited to the first container).In the next email, I will attach you the product catalogs. Please tell me what items are more salable for you. 

给出客户采取行动的理由和动力。 

Best regards, 
Sam 
PS: We are also very capable to custom make for you. Please just tell me the styles you select. 

进一步敦促客户采取行动。正文部分要继续能抓住客户的注意力,让客户保持这个兴趣一直读下去。并在这个过程中被你的产品或者offer所打动,并最终采取行动回复你的邮件。 

写好一封好的开发信要保持几个原则: 


1)简要原则:现在客户都很忙,缺少时间。及时是再好的内容,重复说第二次,对于客户意义就不大了。写好开发信先把重复的内容删掉。能要能不要的话,坚决删除掉。能说得简单通俗的话,坚决简单通俗来说。


2)让客户建立同产品的联系感:有的业务员写的开发信,从头到尾都是陈述自己如何如何,我们是最大的,我们是最好的,可客户觉得这个同我有什么关系呢? 


a)  You attitude, 就是从客户的角度来组织句子。会让客户更多地建立同自己的关联。对比一下如下2句话:We are promoting a new plan that we believe has many outstanding benefits.  以及:You will be able to generate more sales & profits with our newly improved model XXXX. 


b)   Benefits vs product feature 
当我们说我们是最大的,最好的,客户说同我有什么关系呢?What is in it for me? 要吸引客户,就要把给客户带来的利益直接说出来。举个例子,你是卖机票的,你说飞机飞得很快,就是说的product feature, 你也可以说“飞机能帮您节省时间”,这个把飞机给你带来的利益就说出来了。 


3)强力原则:我们说“飞机能帮您节省时间”,和说“飞机能帮您节约很多时间”哪个效果更好呢?在客户的心理激发起的强度是不同的。所以大家要多用能引起客户强烈反应的形容词,就能收到更好的效果。 


4)可信原则:客户收到开发信,初次接触,凭什么要相信你呢?所以相关的论点要有客观的论据支撑。说我们质量好,大家都会说。到不说说些,可核实的内容,比如我们通过了ISO9001质量体系,我们产品通过了CE认证,我们有哪些大客户等等。 


5)促使行动:结尾的部分尤其重要。很多开发信的结尾既没有使用祈使句让客户采取行动,也没有问客户一个问题。根本没有提请行动,整个就一个介绍信,客户就是一个听众。设想一下,我们在什么情况下最可能采取行动。是“现在教室里好冷啊。”这样的陈述句,还是“张三,你把那个门关上,好吗?”。让人回答,你是说“现在教室里好冷啊。”还是说“你冷不冷?”的问句?开发信也是一样,你一直在跟客户说“现在教室里好冷啊。”这样的单向陈述句,如何指望客户回应你呢?所以结尾部分,要采用祈使句,Please close the door 敦促客户行动 或者问句,Do you feel cold?引导客户回复。 



案例2 刚刚帮一位网友修改的开发信 
开发信原文:

Dear ** 
Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. 
This is ***company here.I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request. 
Maybe we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service. 
Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright market at home and abroad. 
Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you? 

Best regards, 
Ling 

点评: 
Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. 
(后面再追一句概述他的业务性质,特色等的话,表示你对他们慎重研究了。(比如: I just notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system. ) 

This is ***company here. 
(这句话好硬,过渡不自然,缺少人情味。May I introduce myself to you ? I am XXX, from XXXX. 这样会更人情味点。) I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request.(这后面一句太突然,没有过渡。) 

Maybe (
这个词没有力度,不自信,犹豫不肯定) we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service. 
Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright 
(有点歧义,不如就用good,注意用最简单的英语,日本人英语不好。) market at home and abroad. 
Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you? 
(这句有点突然。) 

修改: 
Dear XXX, 

Good morning! 

I am very glad to know you from your professional website, you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. I also notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system. That is where I can be of help. 

May I introduce myself to you? I am XXX, from XXXX. We have been in machine vision system industry for more than XXX years. I am confident that we are capable to meet your quality standard, while cutting your cost by at least 10%. Please be sure, we are also very capable to custom produce with your drawings. 

To enable you to evaluate our quality, may I invite you to visit our factory?(
或者:may I send you a sample?) 

Best regards, 
XXXX 

由于情况不一样,不一定就合用。贴这个例子,是希望新人通过对实际案例的运用,了解开发信如何写。光看理论似乎还有点迷糊。

 
案例3

这个是在外贸开发信分享群 (296176482) 帮助新人修改的一份开发信。产品是plastic products. 这个开发信试图先用访问客户网站的说法同客户建立关联,结尾用一个问句来探询如何能成为客户的vendor。结尾的地方比较适合规模比较大的公司,审核vendor有一定的流程。如果客户是小公司,最好把结尾修改一下。 

说明:第一次联系客户的开发信。行业是plastic products. 

内容 
Dear xxx, 

Very glad to know from your web site, that you are the leading wholesaler of plastic products with most prestigious quality. 

To be even more successful, you might look for a very capable & reliable producing supplier. XXX is a good one for you to rely on. We have passed ISO9001 since 2005, and our products has CE certificate. 

Our satisfied customers include Dupont, Demag, Weland, Cas, Aliplast. I am very confident that when you work with us, you will have the same satisfaction. 

Can you do me a favor? What we should do to apply for & become your new vendor? 

Best regards, 
XXXX 

点评

Dear xxx, 

Very glad to know from your web site, that you are the leading wholesaler of plastic products with most prestigious quality. 

开发信从标题开始要能吸引住客户的注意力。然后,正文的一开头还是要能继续抓住客户的注意力,直至结束。在此过程中,要能打动客户。 

抓住客户注意力的办法之一,就是让客户感觉这封开发信是同他很相关的,给他带来很多好处。所以Dear Purchase Manager,这样的开头,远不如Dear John有力。如何找到客户的联系人,很关键。给大家提供2个方法: 
1
 就是用“@客户的域名google里去搜,往往能搜到相关的联系人,即便不是负责采购的,你仍然可以去问他贵司负责采购的人是谁? 
2
 购买高质量的名录。当然这个花费不菲。 
3
 同行业的基友交换。比如我做卫浴台盆,客户渠道同做浴室柜,水龙头,下水,镜子,淋浴房,浴缸,按摩缸等产品高度重叠,甚至同瓷砖等其他建材产品,以及家具产品都有部分重叠。我找到这些行业的业务员交流客户资料,加入我们总共10个业务员,每人100个客户,放在自己手里就只有100个,大家一交流,如果不重复的话,就可以达到1000个。更何况,这些客户里有的是其他业务员熟悉的,经他们介绍,比你自己写开发信要强多少倍啦! 

To be even more successful, you might look for a very capable & reliable producing supplier. XXX is a good one for you to rely on. We have passed ISO9001 since 2005, and our products has CE certificate. 
接下来迅速点明这封开发信可能给他带来的好处,就是你也需要一个有能力的可靠的供应商。然后通过证书等进一步的权威信息证明这点。 

Our satisfied customers include Dupont, Demag, Weland, Cas, Aliplast. I am very confident that when you work with us, you will have the same satisfaction. 
第三方的客户比我们自己说质量好啊什么的都有力。 

Can you do me a favor? What we should do to apply for & become your new vendor? 

结尾设计一个合适的问句,一般可以提升客户的回复率。在被问问题的时候,人有回答的本能。面对一个哭个不停的小孩,最好的办法不是给他糖吃,而是问他感兴趣的问题。就可以迅速让他止住哭闹了。问问题也可以让我们引导谈话的方向,并让对方有高度的参与感。 
 

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